Déjà vu
by HailParadise
Summary: Skylar is trapped between two worlds, unable to truly live in either. She finally hears the words she has longed to for her entire life: she gets to chose one world to live in permanently. But what will happen when her promised choice is ripped away?
1. Nightmares

Chapter One  
  
Talia gasped, struggling to wrench herself away from the last of the nightmare. She whimpered into the cool darkness of her room and automatically listened for the death bell to chime. But it was silent. She shook her head to clear out the confusion. She had felt a herald's death, just as she had so many times before. So where was the bell? She slid out of bed and pressed her forehead against the windowsill. Normal night sounds drifted lazily up to her. The night seemed perfectly peaceful. Perversely, that only worried her more. Grabbing the robe that she had carelessly flung on a chair before going to bed, she hurried down the stairs towards companion's field.  
  
Skif tossed restlessly, trying vainly to get back to sleep. In a burst of vexation he balled up his uncooperative blankets and hurled them across the room. He swore softly as a biting gust of wind tore into his room, only making him more uncomfortable. He awkwardly rolled out of bed and started to stumble toward the blankets, but something made him stop. He found himself drawn toward the window and staring anxiously at the field below. He sent a tentative mind call out to Cymry, but there was no response. Biting his lip he grabbed some clothing and flung himself out the door, keeping his eyes on the window the entire time.  
  
Talia walked across the damp grass cautiously, and was on the verge of ripping out a hidden dagger when she slammed violently into Skiff. "Hells lady-o, what are you trying to do to me?" He muttered crossly. "Skiff!" She cried, half angrily, half relieved. "What are you doing out here?" He stared distractedly across the field. "I really wish someone would tell me." "What?" He started to explain but suddenly went white and shot his hand out to quiet her. She tensed. "Look at the grove." His voice was a harsh whisper. She followed his line of sight and saw a flicker of movement. "Human?" She asked, never taking her eyes off the shadow. "Think so." "Herald?" "No, it's not wearing whites. And it's moving far too cautiously to belong here." He slid his hand along his leg and Talia knew he was reaching for a dagger hidden in his boot. He began to cross toward the grove, and this time it was Talia's turn to stop him. He turned to her in surprise. "The companions." He looked around, confused at the awed tone of her voice. To his shock, every companion in the field was moving steadily toward the grove. However they didn't hurry, their ears were perked forward, and they seemed more to be preparing to greet a friend than disembowel an enemy. "Maybe we should follow them." Talia said hesitantly. He would have responded, but neither of them had any choice in the matter. They found themselves moving across the grass with purpose, and neither of them had the faintest idea why. 


	2. Skylar

Chapter Two  
  
Talia stopped in shock as she watched Rolan nuzzle a complete stranger, curled up into a protective ball on the ground. A muffled groan arose from the crumpled figure. "Stop it Rolan. Would you want stinky horse breath breathing on you when you feel like someone is enthusiastically chopping at your head with a dull axe?" Talia glanced over at Skif and noticed that her surprise was nothing compared to his utter stupefaction. "Holy mother of gods," he whispered, his eyes so wide Talia thought they were going to fall right out of his skull. "What?" Talia hissed impatiently. She felt her annoyance rising as Skif utterly ignored her and struggled to suppress it as she turned her attention back to the unfamiliar girl in front of her. Now that she had recovered from her shock enough she started detachedly studying the stranger. Shoulder length chestnut brown hair was concealing the girl's face, but even curled up on the ground Talia could tell that she was quite tall. She looked over at Skif, decided he was in no position to take any authority, and cleared her throat uncertainly. The girl opened one eye and dragged some of her hair back to lay her unfocused gaze on Talia. Talia noted with a shock that she was quite pretty. Small-defined features, with eyes some unnamable color between green and gray, she looked both youthfully innocent and completely mature at the same time. "Terribly sorry to have forgotten my manners." The girl's voice arose with a smoothly pleasant, and utterly unfamiliar, accent. "I would give you the graceful bow you deserve, but I'm afraid that if I tried I would just fall over." Grimacing, she looped her arm around the closest Companion and slowly dragged herself to her feet. Talia watched in surprise while not only did the Companion not shy away, it actually maneuvered itself to better support the girl. Talia opened her empathic ability just wide enough to catch the general mindset of the girl. While she was met with a fascinating mixture of pain, annoyance, and confusion, there was no malice or ill wishes whatsoever. She stepped past the statue named Skif and took hold of the girl's arms, surveying her wildly unconventional dress and trying to decide what to do with her. To her surprise the girl's fingers whitened around Talia's wrists and the girl stared into Talia's eyes with a fierceness that was faintly alarming. "I must see Selenay." Talia hesitated. "Please, you have no idea how urgent this must be." Noting the peculiar way that the girl delivered the last two words she nodded and started to help the girl toward the Collegium. 


	3. The Mage of Silence

Chapter Three  
  
Talia walked briskly past the guards of Selanay's private chambers. They looked at her briefly in surprise, but made no move to stop her. Telling Skif and the stranger to wait in the sitting room, Talia cautiously knocked on the door to Selanay's bedroom, then wordlessly slipped inside. Skif shifted uncomfortably, trying not to watch the girl too obviously. She watched him out of the corner of her eye with amusement.  
"You might as well sit down you know." He voice was tinged with humor that showed all too clearly in her sardonic dimples. "Knowing you heralds, this is bound to take a while." Skif struggled to make his brain and mouth cooperate. Unfortunately, they chose to be difficult, so he just watched dumbly as she casually leaned against the wall. She met his gaze coolly and they just stood there in silence for a few moments. Then, with no change of posture indicating she was about to speak, the girl suddenly broke the silence. "Skif."  
"Yes?" He looked at her in confusion.  
"That's who you are I mean. Skif. Am I right?" The puzzle of how she could possibly know his name finally shocked him out of his stupor, and brought out the trained herald he was.  
"Yes. How do you know that?" He walked closer to her and sat in a chair, his eyes never leaving the telltale nuances of her body language. That is, they wouldn't have if she had any. She was virtually unreadable. She just smiled. "You look like Skif." The smile reached her eyes and he had to struggle to hold his indifferent countenance. But before he could ask another question, she pushed away from the wall. "Screw this." She muttered under her breath as she marched across the room and walked straight through the door. Skif scrambled up to follow her.  
  
.........  
  
Talia jerked in surprise as the stranger stalked confidently into the room. Selenay however just looked at the new arrival with steady eyes.  
"If you are planning on assassinating me, I suggest you make your attempt now. Otherwise I'm afraid you're simply going to waste much of my, and my heralds', precious time." The girl stared at her with a peculiar expression, somewhere between laughter and tears.  
"May the Mage of Silence's peace reign long." The words were spoken softly, with a particular lilting cadence. Now it was Selanay's turn to jerk in surprise.  
"May the Mage of Silence's power reign in us." The words seemed to spring automatically from her lips.  
"And when the need arises."  
"For the need has arisen."  
"His truth will show."  
"And children may sleep."  
"Knowing that their souls are forever protected." A ghost of a smile appeared on the girl's lips as the spoke these last words.  
"Skylar." The Queen conveyed more joy than Talia thought possible in that single word. Skylar slowly lowered herself to one knee in front of Selenay, her eyes lowered demurely.  
"Forever am I in your service."  
  
.........  
  
Skif stood at the door unnoticed. He watched Selenay's expressions closely as soon as the strange poem began. Something about Selenay's delivery struck a chord in him, but no matter how hard he struggled he could not figure out what it meant. He sent out a probing thought toward his Cymry. He was met with reassurance, but no words passed between the bond. As suddenly as the recitation began, it ended. At the knowledge of the girl's identity something stirred tantalizingly inside Skif. He seething in frustration, knowing that he should know who she was. But the information kept eluding him, until he just gave up and lost himself in watching the exotic stranger in front of him. 


	4. The Shadow Stalker

Chapter Four  
  
Candlemarks later Talia still sat in her room, staring into the fireplace in a dazed stupor. She struggled to work through all of the information that was crammed into her head in a very short period of time. She dimly remembered stories of a strange herald trainee that was very influential during Vanyel's time, but then just disappeared into thin air. No records of a death, nothing. The fact that the trainee was here, now, it was just impossible to grasp. And the amount of power the girl had according to Selenay; Talia could not imagine anyone even existing with all of that boiling inside of her. Talia looked up at a hesitant knock on her door. Wincing slightly as her stiffened muscles revolted against the movement, she opened the door. Skif looked at her from the other side. His hair was disheveled and his eyes looked slightly bloodshot.  
"Couldn't get back to sleep either?" Talia's tone was sympathetic as she held the door open for Skif to enter her room. Disregarding manners entirely he flung himself onto her bed. Rolling her eyes slightly she joined him.  
"She's upset." Lack of sleep was making his inflection completely deadpan.  
"Who?" Talia turned her head to get a better look at him.  
"Skylar."  
"Well, it's no wonder Skif. I mean, she's living a normal life in a completely different world, and then she gets pulled out whenever we are thrown into chaos and bloodshed. I'm just surprised she's not completely suicidal."  
"What do you think her world's like?"  
"I don't know. Why don't you ask her?" Skif reddened at the suggestion. He stammered out some sort of excuse until Talia cut him off. "Then ask your companion." Skif stared at her blankly. "Didn't you notice? She obviously already had an established relationship with all of the companions. I'm sure they know more about her history than we do." Skif jumped up at her suggestion like he had been shot.  
"Why didn't I think of that?" And with no warning he bolted out the door and down the stairs.  
"I didn't mean now!" Talia called to his retreating back. With a sigh she rolled over and went back to asking unanswerable questions of the dancing firelight.  
  
... ... ...  
  
Skif stopped back at his room to grab a heavier cloak, fully intent on going to talk to Cymry right at that second. But his plans were stopped short as he saw Skylar standing in the door jam of the room next to his, a faintly bemused expression on her face.  
"It's strange. The last time I was here, these quarters were for trainees, not for full heralds." She looked at Skif, smiling slightly. "Is that your room?" With a jerk of her head she indicated which one she meant.  
"Yeah. It's alright as far as rooms go." Trying to conjure up an air on nonchalance Skif crossed the rest of the distance between him and his door. Privately he cursed himself for acting like such a little around her. He didn't even know her. He looked up and tried not to fall over as he got hit with the full impact of her dimples.  
"Aw, I would think it would be better than that. After all, it's not everyone who gets to sleep in the same bed as the legendary Shadow Stalker." With that she turned and shut the door to her room. He stared at her, his mouth agape. That girl was just full of surprises. 


	5. A Crack in the Wall

Wow, sorry it took me a little longer to post this time. I just haven't been in the mood to write lately. But when the mood struck, damn did it strike.  
  
Skylar poked at her dinner morosely. Tantalizing odors wafted around the dining room, but her appetite had completely abandoned her. She strained every once of foresight she had...nothing. Her eyes darkened with frustration. Still, nothing. She was here for a reason, wasn't she? God had unceremoniously dumped her back in Valdemar, just like the last time. So where was the disaster? Where was the complete catastrophe that couldn't be stopped without her? Skylar's eyes flicked up as Talia entered the room. She hastily got up and started to leave. Under Talia's measuring gaze Skylar felt a discomfort she couldn't explain. Logically she noticed that the herald's presence seemed to comfort most people, but she just couldn't shake the feeling that Talia was against her for some reason. She paused just outside the door to look at Talia again. Feeling eyes on her Talia turned and looked at Skylar with an unreadable expression. Suppressing a shiver, Skylar hurried back to her room.  
  
... ... ...  
  
Skif yawned as he strolled back toward his room. He turned at the familiar sound of hoof beats and had to smile, forgetting his exhaustion, as he looked into Cymry's bottomless eyes. Whickering softly, she playfully butted him with her head. :You seem awfully tired just from a little weapons training with some insignificant trainees. Could it be that there's actually someone here that surpasses your skill? Or maybe you're just getting old.: "Hey!" He protested, grabbing her head so he could look her in the eyes. "If I'm getting old, then so are you, you old nag." She pranced away. :Well then I guess you're just not as good as you thought you were.: Skif snorted indelicately. "Oh please. The entire collegium together can't best me in terms of throwing knives, and you know that. Why do you think I'm teaching the trainees instead of Alberich?" :Don't flatter yourself dearheart. You're just teaching them so you don't have time for any mischief.: Grinning, he grabbed for her, but she stayed just out of reach. "Just for that I'm going to tell the stablemaster that you're not feeling well and can't be fed anything rich until I say so. That means no honey horse head." Cymry returned to him, radiating mock docility. :I take it back. You're teaching them because Alberich knows you're the best. Just don't let it go to your head.: Skif rolled his eyes at her. "Goodnight love." Head butting him gently again she cantered back toward the other companions. Running his hand through his hair and suppressing another yawn he headed toward the promise of well-deserved rest.  
  
... ... ...  
  
Skif walked into the common room that connected three different bedrooms. He was about to collapse into his, when he heard someone singing. Skif loved music as much as any herald but there was something different about this song. He started in shock when he realized it was coming out of Skylar's room. He stepped closer to listen almost unconsciously. The melody wasn't beautiful. But there was something about the intricate descant that pulled on him. He realized that she must have the bardic gift, no one else could infuse a tune with so much emotion. Closing eyes he could practically see the song on the back of his lids. An intense, devotional type of love danced with the music. He stood there for a moment, not realizing that the song had ended. Hardly daring to breathe he walked to her half open door. She sat on the edge of her bed with her legs folded under her and her eyes closed.  
"I've never heard that particular tune before. Is it from your world?" She didn't even open her eyes.  
"No. It's from Valdemar. I couldn't expect you to know it though. No one does." Her voice was soft and some of the sardonic tone seemed to have left it. Hesitantly he walked into the room.  
"Why not?" Finally she opened her eyes and looked at him for a moment.  
"Only three people ever heard it. One was the writer, one died young, and the third is me." She nodded toward a chair indicating he should sit down.  
"Well, why didn't anyone else hear it from the composer?" Her mouth twisted without humor.  
"As you may have been able to tell, it's a love song. When the object of the song died, he couldn't bear to sing it anymore." Skif felt like he should know the people she was talking about.  
"It's amazing." He said softly, fervently. She looked down.  
"He was amazing." Silence followed that statement.  
"Would you sing it again?" Her head jerked up in surprise. Meeting her eyes he realized with a flash that this was the first real emotion that she had ever showed him.  
"Alright." With that one whispered word, the compelling melody again brought him into a world of devotion. The air crackled with emotions so tense the room could not seem to contain them. He let out an audible sigh of regret when it was over. He noticed with satisfaction that he was rewarded with a true smile in response to his appreciation.  
"I feel like I should know the people you're talking about. But I can't figure it out."  
"You're right, you should. The composer is Vanyel. And the subject...the subject is 'Lendel."  
Skif nodded, not as surprised as he thought he would be.  
"If my room was Vanyel's, was yours...?" His voice trailed off. She nodded.  
"I asked for it in particular for that reason. The fact that someone not completely repulsive is in one of the adjoining rooms is just a bonus." He felt more relaxed around her than he ever had before. Finally the impenetrable barrier that hid Skylar's soul was starting to crack.  
"So you were close to them?" She laughed bitterly.  
"Yeah, I was. You would think that by then I would know not to get close to anyone. When I'm here, people die. That's just the way it is." Her quiet acceptance of that statement pulled at his heart. He wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and help her through her hidden grief. But there was something he had to know first.  
"Were you in love with either of them?" The question was asked softly. She gave him a peculiar half smile.  
"What, you think I'm stupid enough to fall in love with a Shaych? I'll admit my judgement isn't always the best, but I'm extremely thankful that my blindness doesn't extend that far." Her eyes darkened and he could feel that he had closed herself off again. "Not to be rude or anything, but I'm very tired." He groaned inwardly at how close he was to finally getting to know her. But he didn't push his luck, just nodded in resignation.  
"I'll let you get to sleep then." He hesitated for scarcely a breath. "Sleep well." She gave him a shadow of a smile and closed her door in his face. Biting his lip he stared at the cold wood with something very close to physical pain. He shook his head, struggling to clear it. What was wrong with him? Why did this girl's opinion of him mean more than anything else in the world? He collapsed into bed and realized that his lethargy had mysteriously left him. He rolled over and prepared himself for another sleepless night.  
  
So what do you think? Is there a romance in the air? ;D Let me know your vote. 


	6. Weapons of Silence

Talia stumbled down the stairs shaking her head in tolerant annoyance. She couldn't remember being this tired since the last time she was on border duty. She wanted nothing more than to just collapse back into her bed and sleep the day away. But of course Elspeth urgently needed to talk to her over breakfast. Talia smiled through a yawn. Elspeth was certainly growing into a mature young woman. But occasionally she had these moments where every little juvenile problem was blown into insane proportions. But Talia knew how fragile Elspeth's ego was, and she also knew how important it was that she treat Elspeth's problems with all the respect Elspeth merited. So she would have to forgo her much needed sleep for long enough to at least sit through porridge.  
Talia's fingertips had just hit the cold wood of the door when a familiar wrenching feeling pulled on her gut. Her gaze automatically turned toward the courtyard. Casting one last longing glance toward the warmth of the dining hall and the simple prospect of reassuring Elspeth, she started the short walk toward the courtyard, and the much more difficult job of consoling whoever it was that was sending out mental distress signals this intense.  
... ... ...  
  
Skylar wrapped her arms tightly around her drawn up knees. Her eyes stared unfocused at an amorphous pile of graying snow on the ground. Echoes of voices she hadn't heard in weeks played in her head. Laughter...she remembered laughter. Her laughter was with those voices; her laughter was left in that world. She didn't belong here.  
... ... ...  
  
Talia's boots skidded in the slush as her eyes met the ultimate posture of distress. Skylar. Oh Star Eyed, how am I supposed to take care of this? She thought plaintively. Putting on a brave face she silently walked over to sit comfortingly next to the girl on the bench. Skylar didn't bother to look up, but Talia knew that her presence was acknowledged. Talia struggled to suppress panic as the regularly automatic knowledge of the most beneficial words to say eluded her. Still Skylar just stared at the ground with a chillingly devoid gaze. The birds stilled. Mice stopped skittering through the brush. Silence reigned and for the first time Talia realized that words aren't always the most powerful weapon. She smiled and stretched out her legs. She knew how to make life better for this lonely girl caught between worlds. 


	7. Lifebond

Chapter Seven  
  
Elspeth looked anxiously at the door. Where was she? She promised she would be here. The last trainee got up and stumbled toward his lessons. Elspeth buried her head in her arms trying to fight back biting tears. Talia never broke her promises. So where was she?  
  
... ... ...  
  
In the courtyard someone else was also struggling to fend off tears. Talia knew that Skylar was finally going to let the words break loose.  
"I hate it here." The words were spoken so quietly that Talia had to lean toward the girl to catch them. She gave an encouraging half smile.  
"I know that it must be wonderful in your world. But maybe you're not really giving this world a chance. I know there's a lot of war and all, but..." Skylar cut her off before she could finish the thought.  
"It's not that. War, God that's just human nature. You could go to a thousand different worlds and never get away from it. It's just...I'm so..." Making an aggravated noise in the back of her throat she jumped up and started pacing. "I can't even think of the words." She stopped in front of Talia and stared into her eyes. "I can't control my life here. I'm not a person, I'm just a tool." She started pacing again. "At home, at home I can spend a day however I want. I can go hang out with my friends, the people I've known my entire life and not have to spend the entire day freaking out over the fact that they could die any second." Her voice grew quieter. "I don't have to worry that some all powerful God is suddenly going to decide that it's time to leave. Whoosh, I'm gone, and I'm never going to see them again." Her eyes looked so hopeless that Talia was almost scared. She stood up and put her hand on Skylar's shoulder.  
"Skylar, you can't avoid getting close to people. It's just not in you." The tears left Skylar's eyes and she looked at Talia with solid determination.  
"Oh yes I can. Because I just have to one more time. When He sent me here this time, God promised me that it's the last time. After this I just have to pick which world I want to live in. Actually live in, for the rest of my life." Her eyes grew feverishly exited, and her pitch grew louder, harsher. "Do you understand that? I can finally have a life that moves linearly, when everything that happens to me just moves towards one single future. I don't have to deal with this magic crap; I don't have to solve your world's problems anymore. This isn't my world; this isn't my life. You can all burn for all it matters to me." This little tirade seemed to have burned Skylar out and she slowly collapsed into herself.  
"Even Skif?" Talia looked at the girl compassionately.  
"What are you talking about?"  
"You said you wouldn't care if we all burned. Even Skif?" Skylar's eyes hardened.  
"Why should I care? He's just another stranger. He's just another part of this crappy world." Shaking her head in disgust Skylar walked back into the Collegium, leaving Talia behind watching her with sorrowful eyes.  
  
... ... ...  
  
Talia shut the door to Selenay's audience chamber quietly.  
"You wanted to speak with me, Majesty?" Selenay smiled at her Queen's Own.  
"Oh come now Talia, you know better than to use that formal tone with me." Talia smiled her first genuine smile all morning. She crossed and sat in the chair across from her Queen.  
"Yes, Selenay." Selenay leaned across the table urgently, leaning on her folded hands.  
"It's about Skif." Talia's eyes widened in surprise.  
"Yes, I've noticed he's been a little off lately, but if you don't mind my asking Selenay, why does it concern you?"  
"Talia, you know that I care about all of my heralds. Usually in private matters I reason that they are all mature adults who can work through their problems on their own. But I'm seriously worried about Skif. I think that his problem may be more dire than anyone realizes, even himself." Selenay's worry was contagious, Talia's eyes darkened with concern.  
"Well, what is it then?" Selenay hesitated, trying to find the words to begin.  
"Well, I'm sure you've noticed that he's very interested in Skylar." Talia tried to fight back a smile.  
"That's a bit of an understatement. But that's normal for Skif, he's very curious about anyone different. Once she's been here for a while, he'll lose interest."  
"But that's just it, I'm not sure he will. Talia, he's acting like he has a lifebond." Talia reacted to this statement by staring in disbelief.  
"You can't be serious Selenay. Skif? A lifebond?" Selenay looked very tired all of a sudden. She nodded slowly.  
"I've talked to my companion, and he agrees." Talia's eyes shown.  
"Well that's good, isn't it? I mean, a lasting relationship may help to ground Skif a little more."  
"Yes, well, I'm not finished. Skif is showing all the signs of a lifebonding. Skylar however isn't showing any."  
"Is that possible?"  
"Not that I know of, but then again, Skylar isn't supposed to be possible. And I'm afraid that when Skylar leaves again, because I'm sure she will, it will kill Skif." The two most powerful women in the kingdom looked at each other then, knowing deep in their hearts that with all of their power combined, they were still inept to save one of their dearest friends.  
  
Hey does anyone know the name of Selenay's companion? I can't remember it. Thanks! 


	8. Broken Promise, Broken Heart

Skylar awoke with tears on her cheeks. Touching her face slowly she wondered bemusedly why she had been crying. But as quickly as the thought crossed her mind, she forgot it. Moving in a daze she stumbled out the door without even bothering to grab a cloak to keep off the freezing winter wind.  
  
... ... ...  
  
Talia jerked out of sleep, pushing off tangled, moonlight bathed blankets. She listened, silence. She sighed as she ran her hand through her sweat-ridden hair. Déjà vu, it was exactly the same as the night Skylar arrived, scarcely two weeks previous. She rose her eyes to the window.  
"Here we go again. Maybe this time our new arrival won't turn everything upside down."  
  
... ... ...  
  
Skif opened his eyes and swore into the quiet darkness, all in the same movement. Without pausing to wonder what was happening this time he ran down the stairs, knowing that his destination was the grove in Companions Field.  
  
... ... ...  
  
Skylar knew that something was wrong. She knew that she should have more control over her movement. She knew it, but she couldn't seem to care. She laughed at how ridiculous it was to be tramping through frozen snow in the middle of the night, without any real motive. But the laugh sounded strange and fake in the still air. Maybe it's not real she thought, slightly giddy. Maybe I'm still sound asleep in bed. Maybe I'm dreaming it. She laughed again, tried to stop it, and an alien gurgle rose from her throat. That stopped her cold. Skylar stood there in the middle of the grove, swaying slightly, waiting for something she couldn't put a name to. Soft hoof beats shook her halfway out of her trance. She turned automatically to see a gorgeous but unfamiliar stallion standing in the grass behind her. A smile started to form on her lips but suddenly froze. She knew what was happening and her face contorted into a mask of anguished betrayal.  
  
... ... ...  
  
Neither Skif nor Talia seemed very surprised to meet the other one outside the Collegium. Skif looked at his friend grimly. She nodded and they started moving slowly toward the grove. Suddenly a barely human wail tore through the night. Skif and Talia's careful walk transformed into a sprint toward the grove, and toward Skylar.  
  
... ... ...  
  
"You promised me! God, dammit you promised me! You said I could chose! You said so! You promised me!"  
Skif stopped next to Talia with no clue how to react to the hoarsely yelled words. Skylar was kneeling on the ground, heedless of the snow soaking through the knees of her breaches. Her hands were convulsively clenching in her hair and she was rocking back and forth. A companion was anxiously pawing at the ground near Skylar, dancing belligerently toward Skif and Talia every time they even looked like they were considering stepping closer.  
The wails stopped. Both of the heralds and the companion turned to look at the still, whimpering form on the ground.  
"He knows. He knows I can't leave now. Why? After He promised me!" Her hands tightened into fists and she looked up at them with bloodshot eyes. "Do you understand? He promised I could chose." Her voice rose again. "Well, guess what? So much for my choice! I can't leave now. I can't ever leave now. And I didn't even get to chose." Talia struggled to clamp her shields down harder as Skylar's anguish tore through the cracks. With an almost crazed look in her eyes Skylar spun and collapsed onto the companion's silken side. Whickering gently, he nuzzled her hair comfortingly, trying vainly to convince her that it wouldn't be so bad. 


	9. Flying Death

I know I haven't posted in ages, but this is me finally getting the desire to start up this story again, and probably my others too. Hopefully there won't be another break like this before the completion. Enjoy. D

_Chapter Nine_

Skylar blinked sleepily into the early morning haze, straining for a few moments to make sense of her unfamiliar surroundings. Dazedly breathing in the spicy sent of Kavi she rubbed her cheek against his silken hair. With a much more optimistic attitude than the night before, she stirred under the soft woolen blanket wrapped around her, and faced Skif with smiling eyes for the first time in almost a week.

"Thanks." In the delivery of that simple syllable Skif knew that all of the barriers Skylar had walled around herself were starting to crack. He rose from his half crouched position, automatically running a hand through his hair. To hide his sudden irrational discomfort around Skylar he fumbled for the tray in the snow behind him.

"You didn't sit out here all night with me, did you?" Skif dared a glance at her eyes, then quickly had to look back at the tray.

"No. I just thought that being newly chosen and all you might be more comfortable having breakfast out here with..." He looked at her significantly.

"Kavi." He smiled at the glow in her eyes when she thought about the stallion behind her.

"Kavi." He repeated with a nod. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, the snow crackling crisply beneath his soft boots. He could feel Skylar's eyes on him and to his chagrin felt himself slowly turning a brilliant red. To cover her smile at this reaction, Skylar twisted around to look at Kavi. Once again she lost herself in those bottomless blue eyes, the golden lashes blinking lazily. She heard soft foot-falls behind her and knew that Skif was taking this opportunity for an unnoticed escape. She whirled around and stood up quickly, struggling to untangle herself from the blanket.

"Skif, don't go." The emotional force behind those words startled her almost as much as Skif. He met her eyes again in surprise and took an unconscious half step back towards her. Slowly she smiled. "Did you bring enough breakfast for two?" The look that came over Skif's features was almost enough to make up for the hurt of the night before. Skylar struggled to keep from laughing at his innocent surprise. It touched her in a way that came very close to making her uncomfortable, and she felt that yesterday it probably would have. But this morning...with this gorgeous companion standing there, HER companion, it was a welcome change.

"I suppose so. I mean, I wasn't expecting to be," Skif stumbled over the words, grinned, and forced out a couple more. "But yeah, I would love to." Skylar spread the blanket over the ground so that neither of them had to sit in the snow and using Kavi as a backrest Skif and Skylar spent the first of many meals together, finally relaxing in each other's company.

...... ...

Selenay looked up at Talia with a brief smile of thanks as she wrapped her fingers around the hot spiced wine.

"Any progress?" Talia asked hopefully, pulling up a second chair. Selenay shuffled blindly through the parchments that covered the table in front of them about half a foot deep.

"Not much that I didn't already know. I did find that she had whites when she was here last time, and that they were locked in a trunk somewhere waiting for her return. I'm guessing that at that time the location of the trunk was general knowledge, which is why they didn't feel the need to specify where it is." Talia studied Selenay with critical eyes, sipping her wine.

"How could she have had whites though? She was never chosen, she couldn't have even had grays." Selenay shrugged helplessly.

"I don't understand how she could have had or done any of this. Apparently she showed signs of every gift possible, but none were that strong. Yet when the situation arises, using her power alone, she could out-magic any full herald-mage or herald in existence. And this was without any training." Talia shook her head for no apparent reason. She idly began leafing through the papers in front of her. Selenay rubbed her temples wearily. "Where is she right now?"

"Out in the field with Kavi of course. Skif's with her." Selenay looked at her pointedly.

"And she's not biting Skif's head off?" Talia shook her head again, this time with more purpose.

"No, not as far as I can tell. In fact, today she seems almost, heyla!" Talia sat up bolt straight in her chair.

"What?"

"It says here that when she arrived at the Collegium last time she just appeared in the middle of a classroom, looked straight at Vanyel and Tylendel, and calmly asked them 'so who's going to be my Skandranon this year?'" Talia looked at Selenay triumphantly.

"I don't believe it." Selenay said looking at Talia suspiciously. "I pour through these records for hours and find nothing, yet you can just sit down and pick up what we need." Talia smiled. "So she's been here more than once."

"Actually I'm not sure why I didn't realize that before. When we had our conversation in the courtyard she kept saying 'every time I'm here people die.' I took that to include her prediction of death this time too, but now that I think about it, she was probably speaking solely from experience." Selenay ran a hand through her hair looking more dejected than before. "What's wrong? We're finally starting to figure her out, shouldn't you be happy?" Selenay looked at her with hollow eyes.

"Talia, if she knew Skandranon that means she was here during the Mage Wars. So she gets dragged into our world for the extinction of magic, and then for the extinction of herald-mages. That doesn't exactly bode well for the world right now."

... ... ...

Skylar stared at Skif in disbelief, one hand unconsciously going to Kavi's side for support. Skif blushed, flustered at her reaction.

"I just thought, I mean, you were just chosen, and that's always, I mean not that you're, it's just..." Skif swore in frustration. He thought that the bitchy parts of Skylar were solely caused by her barriers. The girl looking at him now definitely held more of the sarcastic, cynical, manipulative, Skylar of yesterday that the smiling, open, and adorable one of this morning. A dimple flashed briefly than disappeared. Skif now knew to take that as a warning sign. Skylar pushed off of Kavi.

"Come here." Skylar walked a few steps away from the companions and gestured for Skif to follow. Kavi whickered uncertainly but stopped when Skylar sent him a hard look to quiet him. Skif uncertainly walked over to her. Cymry chuckled mercilessly in the background. Skif grimaced. "I hear that you're good at throwing knives."

"Yes," Skif said uncertainly, wondering what this could possibly have to do with anything. "I'm teaching some of the trainees."

"Ok then, good. If you're good enough to teach it then I don't have to worry about this little experiment getting botched up by incompetence." She smiled blandly. Skif's eyes hardened. After seeing her the way she could be he didn't find the way she used to be nearly as compelling or exotic. "I'm assuming you have one on you."

"I always do, but what does that," Skylar cut him off.

"Throw it at me."

"What?!" Skif looked at her in shock, there was no way he was going to throw a knife at someone he cared about.

"You heard me. Throw one at me." She spread her arms to indicate an open target, but only resulted in looking strangely angelic framed against the while snow. Skif just stared. She shook her head disgustedly. "Ok Skif, I never thought you were this stupid. Do you see either of our companions stopping us? Obviously they know that neither of us is going to get hurt." Skif blushed slightly realizing the validity of her statement.

"Your funeral." He muttered under his breath, expertly flicking the knife out of his boot. Skylar's eyes widened slightly, before now she hadn't actually believed that this small dark boy could actually have that much power over life and death. But then she smiled again and the moment was lost. Skif took aim.

"And don't aim to miss, that just ruins it." Gritting his teeth Skif altered his aim slightly. Forgetting all about the fact that she was chosen momentarily he panicked. She was so upset last night. What if this was some perverse attempt at suicide?

:Don't worry love. She knows what she's doing.: Put at ease by his companions confidence in the situation, Skif let the knife fly. He didn't even see the knife turn; all of a sudden the glittering blade was flying straight at his unprotected neck.

"Holy!" Swearing Skif stumbled backwards to get away from the flying death, lost his balance, and felt the wet snow seeping in the back of his tunic. An inch away from severing him fatally the knife stopped cold, hovered for a minute, then dropped harmlessly into the snow. Skif closed his eyes briefly, trying to get back his breath. Skylar walked up mockingly and picked up the knife.

"And I thought you were supposed to be acrobatic." She studied the knife callously. Skif looked up at her, his eyes bright from adrenaline, and his words panting and breathy from fear.

"Well I am normally. But I really did think I had the hand up in this situation."

"Well, you know Skif," She tossed the knife back to him. He caught it automatically. "Only a herald with a death wish isn't always on guard."

"How did you do that?" She wordlessly helped him up. Her eyes narrowed slightly as she studied him.

"I don't need training. Please have the decency and the sense of self-preservation to not suggest it again." She turned and walked back towards the Collegium, picking up the breakfast tray as she went. Skif let out a sigh of relief and started to clear his tunic of the sodden snow with shaking hands. All of a sudden he was hit behind and did a face plant straight into the slush. Alarmed, he flipped over to find Cymry prancing around in glee.

"That was not a funny trick!" Skif cried angrily, picking up a handful of slush and hurling it as his companion. It hit her neck in a splatter of grey and brown, and she looked at him, affronted. Skif shook of his hand wondering if he had meant what Cymry had done to him, or what Skylar had done to him.


	10. A Questionable Savior

    Selenay's eyes drooped in the flickering candlelight, but she shook her head briskly in an attempt to force herself awake. She didn't understand it. The parchments clearly stated that Skylar was busy training for combat, adamant in the fact that an unforeseen battle was just over the horizon. Then, scarcely 20 years later, Vanyel, the only surviving Herald-Mage, attends his fatal battle against Leareth. There were records of a discussion that Skylar held with Herald-Mage Savil about the possibility of melding all of her prospective gifts together, and that the result could potentially give her complete control over the minds and bodies of everyone around her. There were detailed theoretical explanations on how exactly that result would come to pass, but Selenay's mind balked short of comprehending them.

    "Well they address the practical issue very completely, if confusingly, however, I notice that they conveniently made no notice of the question of morality," Selenay muttered sardonically under her breath. Deciding to have more qualified minds go over the process in more detail later, she put that paper aside and picked up the next one. This was where the confusion started. There was not one more mention of Skylar in all of the historical records. It was as if she disappeared, and everyone forgot that she had ever existed. To the general populace, Skylar is just an odd name. It is only to the royal family and the Queen's Own, in other words the only people with access to the imperial records, that Skylar means something more. Even in these the lapse lasts for about 15 years until King Randale began training his daughter Jisa to become a future queen. Hidden amongst the managerial instructions was a simple poem. Randale told Jisa that when the person who could recite this poem returns to Valdemar, the ruler should trust the individual's judgment implicitly and give the individual any resources he or she needs. That's it. There's no description of the questionable savior or anything else. This continues for generations, the only insinuations of Skylar occur when the crown prince or princess is being taught the invaluable poem. As time passes, there is a subtle change. One year it comes out that this savior is female. Years later a name comes into play. And a scarce 30 years before Selenay herself was taught, the fact that Skylar was a mere 16 years of age was admitted. How these pieces of information were leaked to the rulers Selenay had no idea.

    Abruptly switching tactics, Selenay picked up the common syllabus for instructing newly chosen trainees. Hidden among the long and tedious lists of names and dates that some scholar locked in a dusty chamber somewhere decided were important to history, is Skylar. All it said is that she was a close confident and assistant to the legendary Vanyel and his teacher Savil. Her specific contributions were not mentioned, nor was when she left. As was the case for every other mention of her, she was there, then she was gone. And for some reason, no one had ever seemed very interested in finding out why.

    Catching herself beginning to nod off once more, Selenay decided to pack it away for the day. She stood, stretching like a cat, and meandered over to the window. Judging by the position of the sun, it was only a candlemark or two past breakfast. She and Talia had worked the entire night through, for the third night in a row. Reminded of her closest friend and confidant, Selenay looked fondly at the top of Talia's head, curled sideways is her chair, fast asleep. Just as she began to lay a gentle hand of Talia's shoulder to wake her, the door was hurled open with a deafening crack. Talia shook awake and nearly tumbled to the ground. Selenay turned in shock to find an angst-ridden Elspeth framed in the doorway. Elspeth wasn't looking at her however.

    "Why didn't you come to breakfast a few days ago?! You never break your promises to me. Am I suddenly not important enough, or is it..." Elspeth trailed off in shock when she saw the white, pasty quality of her friends' countenance. In a much subdued voice, she spoke to Talia again. "What is it?" Talia slowly and wordlessly rose to shaking feet. Before anyone could say anything else the ominous drone of the death bell reverberated through the air, rattling the very bones of Talia's being.

    "Doesn't bode well at all," Talia croaked, in a voice scratchy and hollow from sleep.

    Panting and pink faced from the exhilarating exertion, Skylar and Kavi skidded to a stop at the western edge of companion's field. Skylar gracefully laid herself on Kavi's neck to kiss him briefly between the ears. He impishly flicked his ears at her, the way he would flick off a fly. Laughing, she swung herself down and grabbed either side of his nose.    

      _    : I've never talked to anyone like this before. It's a little weird actually. :_ Skylar giggled nervously.

_    : Don't worry chosen. You'll get used to it in time ... just like you'll get used to your feelings about Skif. : _Skylar's eyes flared open in surprise at the fact that Kavi had brought Skif up. She began talking out loud again in her defensiveness.

    "What's there to get used to? I like him, I'll admit that now, but he's not exactly the first boy I've ever fallen for."

_    : That's right chosen, keep denying it. That's a sure sign of intelligence. :_ Skylar glared at him. Her tone turned icy.

    "I don't know what exactly you're trying to imply here, but whatever if it, it's not true. I feel just the same way about Skif as anyone else." Kavi blinked his eyes slowly, which Skylar had begun to realize was his why of concealing something he found amusing. "What's so funny?" Just as the words finished coming out of her mouth, Skylar had to let out a gasp because cold snow was slowly dripping down the back of her tunic.

    "That bad, huh? That same as everybody else?" Skylar turned, grinning at the sound of Skif's voice. He wore the open impish expression that he hadn't had since the trainees had tired of his thievery tricks. Another snowball was slowly melting in his fist. Skylar's eyes narrowed in preparation. Skif's hands flew up defensively. "Hey, no magic! That's not fair!" And before she could collect herself, Skif hurled the second snowball directly at her face. She nimbly ducked and the snowball his Kavi's unexpecting flank. Whinnying in surprise he cantered away.

_    : Have fun with your little game. And try not to get too wet. It has a tendency to make you crabby. : _ Ignoring her companion's comment entirely Skylar completely devoted herself to the fight.

    "Truce!" Skylar called, out of breath from laughing. Skif watched her with thinly veiled suspicion. Somehow he didn't believe that Skylar would ever call a truce. Glancing around to make sure that all of the trainees had gone in to morning lessons, Skylar walked closer to Skif. Skif put himself on guard. She stopped less than a foot from him, her eyes twinkling with barely suppressed mirth. He was reminded startlingly of the look on the trainees' faces when they had first come out to find a full herald acting like a little. It was not a flattering look to Skif. Without warning she leaned in and kissed him. Skif was in shock, whatever he had suspected from her it was not this. Just as he started to relax, a handful of snow was rubbed into his curls.

    "Oh now that was so cheating!" Despite his protests, Skif pulled Skylar closer and kissed her back. Just as the snow was trickling down his neck unpleasantly enough that Skif was considering breaking off the kiss, Skylar jerked away, her eyes glued to the tower in the distance. Two white forms, Kavi and Cymry, were flying toward them just as the death bell began to make its presence known. "Bloody hell," Skif muttered under his breath, running to meet his companion halfway.


	11. Savior or Curse

_Chapter 11_

Talia morosely swished the mug of cider around in her hand. "Are you sure you're all right?" Selenay looked at her anxiously. "You still look a little pale." Talia forced a shaky smile.

"I really am fine. I'm just having a little difficulty processing it all." Selenay wearily lowered herself into the plush armchair next to her friend.

"Which is completely understandable." She paused and looked at Talia searchingly. "I'm not trying to push you, Talia. It's just incredibly important. Are you positive you didn't see any hint to tell us how or where he died? Or even when?" Talia shifted uncomfortably.

"I told you Selenay, it was the strangest sight I've ever experienced. It was just … death, empty, and cold, and unresponsive. There wasn't even a sense of time to it. I've never …" A dawning flash of understanding flickered in her eyes. "That's not exactly true. With Skylar's arrival this just completely flew my mind. Right before she came, I felt a herald's death. It wasn't quite like this one, but it was empty the same way." Selenay listened anxiously. "Even more so, I had no idea what herald it was, or even if it was a man or a woman." Selenay stretched out her legs, slowly gathering her thoughts.

"But Talia, no one died the night Skylar arrived. We may know nothing about his death, but that does not change the fact that Antron is dead, and his companion as well." Selenay tried to keep both her countenance and tone as comforting as possible, despite the anxiety that threatened to creep in. Talia looked at her pathetically.

"How's Skylar dealing with all of this?" Selenay and Talia both unconsciously glanced at the closed door to the sitting room, where Skif sat attempting to calm Skylar down.

"Surprisingly badly. Finding them stretched out in the old chapel like that is undeniably frightening, and incredibly sad, but I would have expected her to be more hardened to this by now." Talia shook her head.

"She's not nearly as hardened to anything as she would like people to believe. But I don't understand why she's reacting like this either. She never even met Antron, he's been on border patrol for almost two years now." Selenay flashed her advisor a sad half smile.

"I suppose her curse is that she's forever going to remain a mystery to us, no matter how much of her we think we're beginning to understand." Talia looked at her with an odd tilt to her head. "What?"

"Her curse Selenay? Isn't that a little harsh?" Selenay started slightly and chuckled emptily.

"I didn't mean to say that. It just slipped out." She laughed again, this time with a little more color. "In the end I'm not sure how wrong a sentiment it is though. But is she the one who is cursed? Or is she the curse itself?"

"Selenay, what are you suggesting?"

"Well, our interpretation was always that she was here to save Valdemar in its most dire hour. But does it really seem to have been saved? After all, there are no mages or herald mages left. How do we know that she's our savior and not our curse?" Talia stared at Selenay in shock. "Listen to me, I'm certainly turning into a morbid old woman." She forced yet another laugh. "I'm just running my tongue Talia, forget what I'm saying. It's not important or correct."

… … …

"It was terrifying." Skylar leaned against the wall staring blankly into the worn carpet. Skif stood uncomfortably across from her, unconsciously mirroring their positions from the first night. He wanted to touch her, but he had no idea how she would react. Best case scenario, she would collapse into him and cry it all out, worst case scenario she would use her magic to blast him out of Haven. He cleared his throat and plucked at his breeches.

"I know." Inwardly he cursed himself for not being able to say anything else.

"I've never seen a dead body before." Skif felt his eyebrows shoot up at her words.

"I though Vanyel …" She shook her head before he could finish.

"No. I left the night 'Lendel died." She slowly slid down the wall until she was sitting unceremoniously on the floor. "While he was dying to be more specific." Skif automatically took a step towards her, but something in her posture warned him to stop. "I went with them to the manor. They didn't know. I woke up that night, tingling. And I knew, or I should have known, or something." She looked up at him for the first time, pleading with to understand something that no one could never fully understand. "I wasn't ready. It was supposed to be a battle I was there for. A huge battle, with lighting bolts, and trolls, and rocks cascading down mountain sides, it was supposed to be cataclysmic." She pushed the heels of her hands against her forehead. "How was I supposed to know that they most cataclysmic events aren't the battles that end lives. It's the interactions that start them." Skif did move now. He dropped to his knees in front of her and hesitantly put his hand on her leg. "I wasn't ready. And as soon as the he let go of the gate energy I felt myself being pulled away. I suddenly couldn't touch anything, and I heard and saw everything like I was underwater, or caught in a really thick fog. I saw Vanyel writhing on the ground. And I saw 'Lendel running. He ran right past me. Literally, he was so close that I could smell him. And I tried with every inch of my body to grab him, to stop him. And that was it. He was running, my vision was filled with him running, and then I was in my bed at home, just like I had left it." Skif moved to put his arm around her but she stiffened suddenly and stood up. Skif rocked back on his heels. Her jaw was clenched and her cheek was ticking with the effort of holding herself under control. "So no, I've never seen a dead body before. But I knew he was dead. A world away, I still knew it." Suddenly the hopeless look in her eyes communicated something to Skif. She had lied before when she said she never fell in love with a Shaych. But he had been wrong too, it wasn't Vanyel she was in love with, it was Tylendel. His heart wrenched for her, but at the same time, he was aware of the bitter bile of jealously threatening to bubble up in him. He bit his cheek savagely, he had no right to be jealous. She wasn't his to be jealous over. Especially over something that had happened several lifetimes ago. He stood slowly and looked at her. There was a harshness to her delicate features that he had never noticed before. "I'm still not ready." She whispered. Without warning she stumbled to him, curving her hands around the back of his neck, and kissed him almost savagely. Kissing her back he could feel her tears slowly sliding down his cheeks, cool and salty. He felt a hopeless painful passion rising within him and tried to pull away and gain some semblance of coherence to his thoughts, but she moved with him, not letting him. He knew she didn't love him, couldn't love him, wouldn't ever let herself love him. But at the moment he didn't care, he just knew that she was in his arms. With a slight groan to the inevitable, he picked her up and carried her back to his room, knowing that that he was making the biggest mistake of his life and wanting to.


	12. Skylar in Flames

Skif awoke early the next morning as the first rays of burning sunlight splashed on the back of his eyelids. He opened his eyes slowly, fearing the worst. Taking a deep breath he glanced at the bed beside him. Skylar was gone. Sighing he reached over and rested a hand gently on the sheets. He discovered, to his chagrin, that they were ice cold. She must have left in the middle of the night, if not as soon as he fell asleep. Pulling his blankets tighter around his shoulders, he rolled over and sent his mind out to the rolling whiteness below.

_: Well, you should have expected it, Chosen. :_ Angry at Cymry's sanctimonious response he slammed up his shields, abruptly severing contact. He felt her half-heartedly push at the barrier, and then give up. He could almost hear her affronted snort. Tucking his hands under his curls, he realized that instead of feeling better by taking his frustration with Skylar out on Cymry, he just felt more alone.

… … …

Skylar sat in the old chapel idly watching the dust dance patterns in the slanted sunlight. The bodies had been moved of course, but Skylar could still see the imprint of the past in the dust all too clearly. Chalk outlines she thought to herself.

_: Chosen, please come out. I want to be able to see you. :_

_: Please Kavi, just give me another minute. :_ Kavi kicked the door lightly, sending vibrations through the cracked slate.

_: This isn't healthy for you Sky. You're going to make yourself sick. :_ In response Skylar rose to her knees and reached out to touch the floor. The stone felt surprisingly warm under her palm. She pressed her hand down harder. Staring at the dust outline she no longer saw the body of Antron, she saw Tylendel, dead and broken. Her eyes blurred with tears and to her abject shock she felt a flash of burning pain in her hand and the walls of the chapel erupted in flames. Standing shakily she looked at the fire uncomprehendingly, deaf to the screams of Kavi pounding on the door. Staring into the flames she saw Vanyel sitting in the chapel. She saw the glint of metal clenched between his thighs. She heard and saw the dagger flash through his wrists. Gagging at the smell of blood hissing in the flames she fell to her knees again.

"Stop" she whispered to the uncaring fire. Suddenly she felt the companion's screams tearing through her body, but it wasn't Kavi she heard, it was 'Fandes. "Oh God, the blood." She thought wrenchingly. "It's choking me." The flames roared higher, reverberating deeper into her. "Stop!" She screamed with every ounce of breath in her lungs. People outside were screaming, yelling, crying, talking, pounding, why wouldn't they stop. Raising her eyes to the flames again she saw Urtho, poison slowly seeping through his veins. She watched the breath choke in his throat and the light in his eyes go out. Hurling herself to her feet, she flung herself at the image in the inferno. "NO!" She felt the heat radiating towards her, her hand stretched out to touch Urtho, to touch Vanyel, to touch Tylendel, to touch … oh God, to touch Skif. Just as her fingertips hit the farthest flying sparks, the fire died and her knees cracked on cold unforgiving stone. Cold like there had never been a fire. Cold like she felt cold. Just as the world went dark she glimpsed people running in, felt hands grabbing her roughly. And then she fell into blessed unconsciousness.

… … …

Murmurs pierced through the darkness like tiny sparks of light. Skylar knew that if she let herself go into the darkness she would never come back out again. Part of her wanted to, wanted it more than she had ever wanted anything in her entire life. But as soon as she started to let it envelop her, those murmurs would flash through. Pinpricks of light that burned in the back of her eyes. Irritably she struggled to push them away. They were giving here such a headache. But the more she pushed at them the more insistently they came. Gradually they came with scent attached to them, and discernable sound. There was a faintly acidic smell of medicine, and a rich baritone, and the lighter warm alto tones of someone who could only be Selenay. Skylar felt her stomach contract sharply at the realization of where she was as memory began to flood her with why she was there. Then the pain in her head intensified and she concentrated all of her efforts on filling her lungs with cool air.

"I still don't understand, how could she possibly have done that?" The baritone again.

"I've already explained to you who she is Dirk, and you know as well as anyone that while fire-starting is not a common gift; it's far from unheard of."

"I realize that she has a grasp of every gift, Your Majesty, and I've even managed to wrap my mind around the concept that she can use all of them without training."

"Then where's the problem? She has the fire-starting gift, but no training in it, and she momentarily lost control of it." Skylar managed to open her eyes a crack at these last words. Through a blurry haze of pain and light she managed to discern two figures sitting in chairs at the far side of the room. The room itself was white and clean and gave off an overwhelming aura of sterilization. Selenay, despite the intensity of all of the events unfolding, still looked as composed and as serene as ever. The stranger on the other hand, Dirk Skylar realized, looked frazzled and unkempt. He stood jerkily.

"Yes, she lost control of the MILD gift she has. Your Majesty, losing control of a gift of that level should result in a small sizzling cook fire, not an inferno that somehow manages to consume an entire stone chapel. It's just not possible." Selenay looked at him almost pityingly for a long moment, and then flicked her eyes over to the prostrate Skylar. She jolted when she saw Skylar's open eyes, and immediately rose and rushed over to her side.

"Skylar, how are you feeling?" Skylar managed to dredge up a rueful smile and dragged herself up to a half sitting position.

"Like someone is hurling daggers behind my eyes." Selenay returned the smile in relief.

"Well, it's wonderful to know you haven't lost your sense of humor." Selenay twisted around to grab a foul smelling mug resting on the wooden nightstand. "Here." Skylar gingerly wrapped her hands around the ceramic mug.

"Does it have to be this … green?" Skylar arched her eyebrow towards the queen with a ghost of a smile playing on her lips. Dirk on the other hand openly guffawed from across the room. He shifted in chagrin at the started looks both women flashed at him.

"Sorry. Bad memories." He said shortly. Skylar managed to down half the mug in one swallow, but blanched, though whether it was because the act of swallowing had sharpened the daggers in her skull or because the flavor matched the lovely green hue of the potion is anyone's guess.

"Well it can't be poison at least. Even poison tastes better than this … concoction." She swallowed the rest with only the slightest hint of a sputter and swung the mug back in Selenay's general direction. Dirk raised an eyebrow slightly at the cavalier way this girl was treating the queen, and raised it even further when Selenay wordlessly retrieved the mug and set it back on its table. Skylar struggled to sit up a little further and cast her gaze over to Dirk.

"So you're Dirk."

"Yes," he said hesitantly. She smirked and opened her mouth to make some clever retort, but then something flashed in her eyes and she was taken over by the unfocused gaze that results from a herald communicating with his companion. As soon as she shook out of her half trance she fixed Dirk with a frank and open stare.

"I'm sorry about Kris." Dirk practically shook with shock and gaped at Selenay. She stared back just as confounded as he.

"How…" Dirk asked a little too loudly, struggling to get his wits back under control.

"Perhaps this isn't the best time." Selenay cut in, flashing Skylar a significant look. "You need to get your strength back, and it would be very unheraldic of us to wear you out even further. Someone will be up with your dinner shortly." And with that Selenay and Dirk turned and whisked out of the room. Dropping the mask of impish strength she had worn for her guests, Skylar lay back and grimaced in pain.

_: That wasn't exactly tactful, Chosen. :_

_: You're one to talk about being tactful. You're about as tactful as a brick wall. All you ever do is drop blatant hints about how you think I should be acting or feeling, or even thinking for God's sake. :_ Kavi gave a dry chuckle that felt like ripe peaches in her mind.

_: You would of course be referring to my subtle references to you being lifebonded to Skif. Other than that I have been the absolute soul of tact, thank you very much. :_ Skylar jerked violently at his words and couldn't help but cry out at the stab of pain that brought on. _:Sorry Chosen. : _came the very soft, incredibly contrite whisper in her mind. Before Skylar could fully blink away the stars she was seeing she heard a soft footfall at the door. The hair on the back of her neck prickled as she felt the intense presence of the Queen's Own.

"How did you know about Kris?"


	13. The Beginning

The companion delicately picked her way through the gravel strewn path. Her chosen wrapped her cloak tautly around her thin shoulders and strained to see into the inky darkness up ahead. Not at the path itself, any herald would be a fool not to trust her companion's surefootedness over her own. But the clear bell-tones of her companion's hooves grazing the rocks in the path threatened to lull her into a half doze. So she stared into the enveloping blackness until her eyes hurt. Her companion skittered slightly, a sure sign that the uneasy feeling of being watched that stiffened the herald's spine was not being imagined. She wished again that she had the ability to mind-speak her with Sasha. The contact of warm soft hair against her legs was soothing, but not soothing enough. She felt like it was the darkness itself watching her, waiting to consume her. She shivered again and twined her companion's silken mane in her fingers. And then the blackness struck.

… … …

Skylar sighed, she wanted nothing more than to just lie down and take a nap. But of course Talia chose now to stop skulking around in the records and confront Skylar about her past. "How did you know about Kris?" Talia repeated impatiently. Skylar fixed her with a hard gaze, disgusted that she had ever held the slightest bit of fear or respect for the herald. Talia was revealing herself now to be nothing more than an overgrown child, stubborn in her anxiety over having her precious little world disrupted.

"The same way I've known about everything else. Didn't you notice?" Skylar smirked at Talia's blank expression; the pain in her head was rapidly dissipating at the prospect of giving the Queen's Own a well deserved tongue-lashing. "No, of course you didn't. Didn't notice that I knew both your and Skif's names before you ever gave them. Didn't notice that I knew Selenay was Queen before ever being informed of even what century we're in, let alone what ruling family." Skylar paused, building the suspense with her acid tongue. "Didn't notice how readily I accepted the changes in this world since Vanyel's time. For example, herald-mages. Didn't it ever strike you as odd that I didn't once ask you why there weren't any?" Skylar's grin broadened as Talia shifted uncomfortably under the unforeseen onslaught. "No, of course not. All of these little warning signs whizzed right by your un-protesting innocent eyes. But I mention an ex-lover, oh now you jump at the chance to confront me." Skylar cocked her head. "Oh wait, you never told me he was an ex-lover, did you?"

… … …

Skif crossed companion's field, his hands wedged deep in his pockets. He skidded in the mud, and felt it unpleasantly seep over the top of his boots. He inwardly cursed the spring thaw, it was almost worse than winter. Finally he spotted Cymry mincing her way across the field, somehow magically managing to dodge the puddles so that her white coat was as spotless as ever. "Took you long enough." He muttered under his breath. Striding over to her, he grabbed his startled friend on either side of her face and looked deeply into her eyes.

_: Tell me about her. :_ He mind-sent with every little nuance of emotion he could pile into those four short words.

… … …

Talia stiffened and unthinkingly flinched back. Skylar was forcing her emotions past Talia's shields so that she was drowning in a world of mockery, bitterness, and something dangerously close to hatred. She hastened to strengthen her shields before Skylar managed to affect her own emotional state. To her relief she felt Rolan there, flooding her with his strength and support. "Alright. You've made your point. Now will you tell me how you knew all of this or am I going to have to truth spell you?" Skylar jerked in feigned surprise.

"You mean you would actually truth spell another herald?" Talia looked down at her, still shaken by the intensity of her emotions.

"You're not really a herald, are you?"

"I have a companion, don't I?" Skylar jerked her head in an indication that Talia should sit in the chair that Selenay had earlier vacated. Talia didn't move.

"Well then that's another thing you will be informing me of shortly. How did you manage to coerce Kavi into choosing you? After all, you said it yourself; you want nothing to do with this world." To her utter shock Talia simultaneously felt a dropping feeling in the pit of her stomach as Rolan abruptly pulled out of her mind and was hit with a sickening wave of anger, although she wasn't entirely sure whether it originated from Skylar or Rolan. Skylar's eyes burned with a fierceness that she had never seen there before. When she spoke she did so brutally biting off each word, leaving no questions in Talia's mind about the truth behind the words.

"I trust Rolan just reminded you that no one can _coerce_ a companion into doing anything. You can dislike me all you want, that's fine, to be honest, I can't stand you either. But don't you ever say that I didn't get chosen out of Kavi's own free will and _love_ for me, because you could not be further from the truth." Skylar let the silence weight down on Talia for a few moments before going on. "Now you came here to find about how I knew about Kris, so let's deal with that. Sit." Talia sat gingerly. "Books. You know what you know about me by pouring through your books, well, I know what I know about you by pouring through my books." Talia watched Skylar through wide eyes. Skylar leaned back; the tension was finally beginning to seep out of her muscles. "They're not 100 accurate, of course. They're written as if I never came here. But they tell me what I need to know. They told me how Urtho died, how 'Lendel died, how Vanyel died, and how magic and herald-mages died with them. They told me about Skif growing up in the slums, about you growing up in the border-lands, but more importantly, they told me what kind of people you all are." Skylar glanced over at Talia finally. "They also told me how this world survives just fine without me. The told me how little I changed things. You don't think I realize that Selenay doubts me? It positively radiates from her when she looks at me." Skylar looked down again, idly tracing patterns in the comforter. "Kavi told me she called me your curse, you know. And I don't even know if she's wrong." Talia took a shaky breath. Whatever she had expected from Skylar, this was not it. Her mind raced in an attempt to find where to begin. _At the beginning, I suppose, _she thought cautiously.

"When did you leave the first time?" Skylar laughed bitterly.

"As Urtho was dying. I was in the room when he was poisoned; I had just brought him a tray with something to eat." She shook her head, lost in her own mind. "To do this day I don't know how I wasn't seen. But the second the barbs pierced his skin, I was pulled away." Talia noticed with shock that Skylar was struggling to fend off tears. "I know now, why I was sent here. Not this time I mean, but the other two. I was supposed to stop them from getting Urtho. And I was supposed to stop Tylendel from losing himself." Her fingers clenched convulsively. "And I couldn't do it." Talia looked at her with a sudden realization.

"So you weren't actually here to be Vanyel's advisor like we thought. You were here to be Tylendel's." Skylar nodded shakily. "I think I understand now. When you said you wouldn't get close to people … it wasn't so you wouldn't lose them. It's so Valdemar wouldn't lose them."

"Eureka," Skylar said quietly. Talia flashed her an odd look but ignored the unknown word. She hesitantly rose and moved towards Skylar, unsure of how to proceed. But suddenly she was drenched with ice-cold nothingness a bare few seconds before the death bell began its baleful toll.


End file.
